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Wedding Traditions You Don’t Have to Stick To

To anyone who is planning their wedding, no matter if you are totally unsure of what your vision is or you’ve been dreaming of the day since you were young, the stress of wedding planning is real for every couple! With all of the influence we see from the Instagram-worthy moments to TikTok trends and everything in between, the pressure to fit in all of the wedding trends and traditions can be overwhelming. That is our team here at Finerr Weddings and Events are here, as seasoned wedding planners, to tell you that you absolutely *DO NOT* need to stick to all of the typical wedding day traditions and procedures. (We’re going to preach for just one moment so bare with us) This is your wedding…and it should go exactly as you want it to. We believe that every aspect of your big day should represent you as a couple. This means keeping the traditions you love, excluding any that do not speak to you and creating new traditions of your own! Here are just a few wedding traditions that you do NOT need to stick to if you so please and ideas on what you can do instead!

Doing a Staged First Look

Okay, we are going to start off with a trend that has been taking the wedding industry by storm lately…and that is the staged first look! Now, we aren’t saying that there is anything at all wrong with doing a staged first look. Actually, being able to see your significant other before the ceremony does come with its perks in that you can knock out a bunch of photographs before the ceremony, and therefore be able to enjoy more time with your guests. But, a staged first look is not for every couple. With a staged first look can come a lot of pressure for you and your partner to have the *perfect reaction* rather than your natural reaction. The moment can end up feeling more for show for some couples rather than actually being able to enjoy and appreciate that moment when you see your partner for the first time. If a staged first look doesn't suit you as a couple, you can always opt to have a private first look! This way, you both get to enjoy the moment authentically while still reaping all of the timeline benefits that come with a first look.

Your Father Walking You Down The Aisle

Next on our list is the age old tradition of having your father or father figure walk you down the aisle. As wedding planners, we think this is a truly beautiful tradition and to be honest, we have shed many tears during this moment. With that being said, this tradition may not be for every couple for a variety of reasons and that’s totally okay. Some brides opt to have both father and mother walk them down the aisle. This is a really sweet way to include mom in the ceremony as well. Others have just mom walk them down the aisle! Another great idea we have seen couples do is to have dad or mom and dad walk you to the start of the aisle- then you take your moment to shine and walk down the aisle to your partner by yourself. There are so many different ways to make your entrance at your ceremony- so don’t feel like you have to stick with this age old tradition if it doesn’t suit you and your partner!

Having Your Bridesmaids in Matching/Traditional Dresses

Another tradition that many brides can feel pressured to do is have their bridesmaids in traditional/matching dresses. Now listen, we love to see a cohesive bridal party and it makes for gorgeous group photos BUT when done right, you can absolutely have your bridesmaids all in different dresses and colors and still have it look and feel cohesive. Sticking with a theme, color palette or general style while allowing your party to show their unique style can make for the best looking (and feeling) bridal party! This also goes for dresses in general…we’ve recently seen brides opting to have their bridesmaids in pant suits or jumpsuits…and we are SO here for it. Do what feels best for you and your bridesmaids the results will always be beautiful.

Saying Your Vows Publicly

This next one is a tradition that not a lot of couples think to change in order to fit their needs…but it can be a total game changer for those who do! That is choosing to say your vows to each other publicly. Saying your vows during the ceremony seems like one of the most common aspects of a wedding ceremony..and it is, but those couples who are on the shy side or anyone who struggles with public speaking in general, having to say your vows publicly can feel very overwhelming. Do not be afraid to change this tradition! You and your partner can always choose to say your vows to each other in private and simply keep the “I do’s” for the public ceremony. This makes for a super special and intimate moment with your partner and can really be a wonderful option for some!

Having a First Dance

Another very traditional wedding procedure is the first dance. Again, this is always such a special moment and a tradition that so many couples and their guests enjoy…but that does not mean that you have to do it if you and your partner aren’t feeling it! Recently, we have seen a lot of couples choosing to do a private last dance as opposed to the first dance. After a wonderful night of dancing and celebrating, having that last special moment with your partner in private is a really wonderful way to end your wedding day. Also, if you like the sound of a last dance but still want to keep your first dance as well, then do both!! It’s your day and you get to do it exactly how you want to!

Bouquet/Garter Toss

Next up on our list is…the bouquet and garter toss. This has actually been a tradition we have been seeing a whole lot less of lately. This is one of those wedding reception traditions that has been around forever and can be super fun for some couples, but maybe a little too cliche or uncomfortable for others. If it doesn’t feel like you, don’t feel at all pressured to have to do these games at your wedding. If you’re looking for an alternative, you can choose to give your bouquet to your grandmother or another special loved one. We have seen couples hold an “anniversary dance” instead of bouquet/garter toss. This is where the couple has all of their married guests join the dance floor together for a song. As time goes on, couples are eliminated depending on the amount of time they've been married. Present your bouquet to the last couple remaining on the dance floor who've been married the longest. This is just one of many ideas you can do instead of a bouquet/garter toss.

Traditional Wedding Favors

Many couples spend a whole lot of time, effort and money creating the perfect party favors only to have a small portion of their guests actually remember to take them home with them. Trust us, your guests will not feel slighted if you decide not to spend the time and money on wedding favors! There are also a ton of great alternatives to the traditional party favors…like a photo booth! Having a photo booth at your reception allows for your guests to take home their own custom party favors in the form of photo strips with beautiful lasting memories that they will cherish. Not to mention, photo booths are always such a great time for guests and the couple and can also serve as a nice way to get guests engaged!

There are truly endless ways to celebrate your love on your wedding day…and the best part is that the choices are all yours. We truly encourage every one of our couples to make the day uniquely theirs. Don’t ever let the pressure of traditions, trends or others opinions force you and your partner to do anything you don’t want to do. This is your wedding day and you want to look back for years to come knowing you celebrated exactly how you and your partner wanted to and that’s truly all that matters!

For all of the upcoming brides and grooms in Southern California reading this, please check out Finerr Weddings and Events for all of your wedding planning needs! No matter what traditions you choose to include, exclude or create, our team at Finerr Weddings and Events are here to make your dream wedding a reality! We pride ourselves on delivering high-quality events that leave your guests in awe! Our goal is to inspire, create the extraordinary, and leave an impression that lasts a lifetime. Learn more about what we offer @

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